Forget Who You Were

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

Colle Davis, Executive Mentoring and Coaching, Inc., http://www.mycoach.com

Listen carefully: The worst advice you can ever hear from anyone is, “Remember who you are.” This stifling old bromide is a crippling command from someone who wants to control you and your life. The only way for you to grow and succeed is to forget who you were/are and evolve and develop and (yes) even change to deal with life’s joys and challenges. Keep the knowledge you've accumulated, but accept the changes that wash over you and your life and embrace the new and release the old. It’s very much like breathing; you’re much healthier if you breathe on a regular basis than if you hold your breath.

Since it’s the end of summer (as we know it), I thought I'd descend from my corporate perch and talk about a premise that is of growing importance in my life: the idea of remaining forever young without comparing myself with my own past or with other people’s present. And (drum roll please) facing ‘what is’ in every area of my own life today as the mirror of what I believe is true. So, I invite you to kick back, hum a few bars of The Beatle’s song, “Let It Be,” and read on.

At this (finger snap) instant in time, you are not the person you were even ten minutes ago. If you don't believe that, then do you believe you are a different person than you were a year, or a decade ago? Can you see what a difference the time frame makes in your acceptance of the fact that you really are a different person with each intake of breath?

Stop and think for a moment about who you really are. You’re an employee or employer, spouse, parent, citizen. You’re many people and you’re constantly changing and evolving as a person who is best served to forget who you were and to be who you are. Any one moment in time is a snapshot of you in that moment and its not a brittle form you have to fit into.

When you let go of your past and forget who you were, you have the freedom to be who you want to be, or at least be who you want to be now. What will happen to you when you forget your past and quit talking about it and thinking about it day after day? You still have a present and a future. You can't change your past (regardless of your imagination) and you can't live in the future (despite your creative planning) so being in the present is YOU and any attempt to escape YOU in this moment makes you old and incapable of living fully. Your past is a heavy layer of detritus that drags you down with all the accumulated garbage you've saved ‘in case I need it’ and it makes you dull and old before your time.

For today and today only, for this second and this second only, behave as you want to behave. Have fun with every situation and if you become sad, angry or fearful, accept each feeling fully until it goes away and you are again fully enjoying the fabulous and delightful life you’re engaged it at this moment. If you need a little help in adjusting to living fully in your own today, contact me and I'll give you some more tools to succeed.

Remember, If you really want to get your outcomes then you have to understand the process of your own thinking and how it effects your behavior. That is a process that you can't do by yourself. You will need help and the quickest way to get there is to hire a great guide. Put Coach Colle at the top of that list.

- Coach Colle

Return to Library of Business Information