Winning in the Game of Success

Monday, November 10, 2003

Ellen Martig, The Coach Advantage Newsletter, http://www.SeminarCoaching.com

An important behavior that really starts as an attitude is one regarding the separation of work and personal relationships. Having a clear understanding and attitude about friendships and work relationships not only smoothes the road to success but makes the journey more enjoyable.

Don’t expect to make friends everywhere you go – Work is no more about friendship than a tough competitive sport. Men seem to keep a clear distinction between work and personal while women tend to struggle with this concept. Somehow men can disagree on an issue at work but still have a beer on Saturday. They don’t see the difference in opinions as being disloyal or unsupportive.

Still work is work and your life is your life. Your work decisions must be made with business objectives and goals in mind. Always remember that making friends is NOT the objective of a business situation. It is the by-product. You cannot expect to make friends with everyone and you can’t make everyone happy.

Tip:
When dealing with someone who doesn’t quite “get” this concept, always communicate to them that the decision is not personal – that it is a business decision and that you value them as a person. Then accept the fact that some people are able to separate business from personal and some are not.

”I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.” - Bill Cosby

The Coach Challenge
Become more conscious of how you interact with others both inside and outside of your work environment. Are you looking to always be liked no matter what the circumstances are? If so, I encourage you to revisit what your objectives are. You may need to tell a co-worker or subordinate that your work is not about friendship but rather it is about getting the job done in a professional way. On the other hand if you are outside of work and are faced with a non-work related situation, your objective may be ALL about friendship wherein the rules are completely different.

Ellen Martig
emartig@seminarcoaching.com
(602) 906-3206 or (888) 316-4200

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