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02 - Qualify Your Advice

Excerpted from Business Black Belt by Burke Franklin

The Advice You Get and the Advice You Give

A significant component of 'listening skills' is your choice of who you listen to and what you believe.

I recommend that you qualify the source(s) of your advice and in so doing, qualify the advice you get as well as the advice you give.

The cobbler’s kids have no shoes
I learned a few years ago never to take advice from someone who hasn’t been there before. You wouldn’t hire a fitness trainer who is fatter than you are, would you? Leaders must set an example in the area they claim as their expertise.

You’ve heard the saying about the cobbler whose own children have no shoes, meaning he doesn’t practice what he preaches. If the cobbler’s kids go barefoot, obviously he doesn’t care about them, so why would he care about you? And if his shoes aren’t good enough for his kids, why should you buy them? There’s a real problem if someone doesn’t use their own stuff or follow their own advice—especially when they’re offering or selling it to you.

It’s important to get the right advice only from the right people. Unless you’re doing market research, where every opinion contributes, remember to weigh the quality of your advice according to its source. Ask someone in a position of leadership—an active expert in that area. Also, ask more than one expert (a second opinion). And whatever information you gain, be sure to filter it through your own experience and knowledge. In other words, don’t deny or discount your own direct experience. Often, business leaders ignore their intuition in favor of conflicting opinions and, usually, regret it.

In the past, when I had a question, I would seek advice from everyone, regardless of their qualifications on the subject. For example, I would pose a technical marketing question to lots of people. I would weigh their opinions equally no matter what they knew or how qualified they were. On the other hand, I used to give my opinion about all kinds of things only to be upset when people didn’t believe me (even though I might not have known what I was talking about anyway). I should have said, “Look, I don’t know about that subject. I’m not an expert. But if you still want my opinion...”

Unfortunately, many people who have no idea what they’re talking about are happy to give you their opinions anyway. The ones who really make me laugh are the “consultants” who’ve just graduated from school but have yet to get a real job. Don’t ask everyone for their opinions. Just because someone has a college degree, has written a book, or leads a seminar doesn’t mean he or she is an expert. In fact, you may have more expertise than they do!

Asking the wrong people for advice is a big waste of time. And if you take their unqualified advice, it will be a big waste of money too! The time invested in qualifying your source far outweighs the time wasted in recovering from a mistake made with bad advice.

There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
— Stephen Wright, comedian

There’s a BIG difference between opinion & xperience
You must distinguish between opinion and fact. Often, a person offers an opinion but states it as if it were an experience. Many people give advice without distinguishing its quality. You can determine the quality of the advice you receive by simply asking:

How do you know that?

The explanation should give you a good idea as to where the advice sits between opinion and experience. If someone has been through the same situation and appears to be honestly successful, then you can make a pretty safe bet the advice is based on fact.

Here’s how I rate the quality levels of advice

Direct experience—the advice-giver was successful, has been doing it for years, offers many variations, and can distinguish many nuances in the situation

They were taught by a known expert

They talked to someone with expertise who learned through his/her own direct experience

They observed someone else apply it and succeed

They read it in a book

They overheard a conversation

It seems like a good idea

Above all, the advisor must clearly understand your situation and objectives. A good sign is that he or she takes the time to ask a variety of questions. The ease with which the advisor asks uncomfortable-to-answer questions is a plus. One who leaps to solutions is dangerous.

If they share an experience with you, most people will tell you how well it went. Nevertheless, always ask, “How well did it work for you?” Even if they weren’t totally successful, you can still benefit from the experience they did have by asking, “What do you think would have made a difference?” and “Why do you think that would have worked?”

Your ideas will be accepted more readily if you’ve already demonstrated success by using them yourself.

How to offer advice—-an investment in credibility
Credibility is one of your most important assets in business and in life. Not only do you need to trust others for the information they give you, it’s equally important that others know they can trust you too.

I recommend that when you offer advice, follow it with a statement of how you came by this knowledge. That way, regardless of whether good or bad results come from the advice you give, your integrity is always maintained. “Here’s something I learned from my own personal experience and it might work for you.” At least he or she knows where your information has come from. If you give advice that is just an opinion or something off the top of your head and it doesn’t work, he or she will look at you and say (or worse, think and not say), “Your advice sucks.” “You’re a loser.” However, if you say, “I read this in a book and it worked in this particular context, so it might make sense for you,” at least if it doesn’t work, in all honesty he or she will know that you read it in a book. You’re really not on the hook for this one.

When offering advice, state, “Here’s how I know this. . . .” If you don’t know what you’re talking about, do everyone a favor and keep your mouth shut. Maintain your credibility for the future when it counts. You don’t need to be temporarily impressive at the cost of your reputation that follows you forever.

Beware of extremes
In the past, I’ve often used examples of extreme situations to illustrate a point. The mistake I made was not to state that it was an extreme example of how something is or might be a worst-case scenario that only happens one percent of the time, or has a 1-in-10,000 chance of happening. Instead, I used an extreme example without qualifying it, mostly just to be funny or gross. The problem was that people mistook me or developed a perception about me that I was negative or off the wall.

While we’re on the subject of credibility, I’ll address sarcasm. You may use sarcasm to be funny. Maybe you think that you’re above it all; your off-handed sarcastic commentary demonstrates such mastery of the subject that you can afford to be funny. The danger with sarcasm is that people often cannot distinguish it from your true intent. They may take you seriously, with detrimental implications, or perceive that you’re a jerk. I discovered this when someone was sarcastic with me. I wasn’t sure what he meant. I didn’t get it. From this experience, I realized that I was sarcastic a lot of the time, and I realized why people weren’t paying attention to me or understanding what I really meant. If you’re always joking, when do people take you seriously? Besides, sarcasm is usually negative and puts people off.

Remember, qualifying your advice will keep you conscious of the quality of the advice you are giving; if you can’t qualify it, then it’s probably not worth mentioning. This will prevent you from steering people wrong, being taken seriously when you are joking, or being perceived as a fool when you are serious.

Business Black Belt Notes

Question the source of people’s advice. Are they credible?

Ask, “How do you know that?”

Choose advice givers carefully. Don’t ask everyone for their opinions.

Did the advice giver have a direct experience? How well did it work?

Is this person successful in general or successful with the recommendation?

Pass along the source of your own advice to build and preserve your credibility.

When you are doing the advising, play it straight.

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