Work vs. Life: Round 1

What does work/life balance really mean? If you Googled it, you would find thousands of pages from professionals who will tell you it’s about strategies to do more in less time or flexible work hours, or virtual offices, or any number of other marketable band-aids. In reality integrating work and non-work activity in your life isn’t about strategies at all; it’s all about CHOICE.

Whether you’re self employed or work for someone else, chances are there wasn’t anyone holding a gun to your head forcing you to accept the position you hold or all of the stuff associated with it. You made a conscious choice to take it on. So the question of balance lies within how well the choice you made aligns with your personal values and objectives. People who feel out of balance have usually made a choice that was counter to their value system causing a conflict of intention.

Conflicts of intention look something like this…..your intent to make a lot of money to provide a great life for your family conflicts with your intention to be connected and available to your family so you can share a great life together. Without a clear understanding of your personal values, you can’t consciously distinguish between what you think you “should do” versus what you know is right for you. The conflict created when this happens manifests itself over time in sub-optimal performance, health issues, and failed relationships to name just a few of the effects.

How can all this be avoided? How can you have your cake and eat it too? Unless you are extremely lucky, (I have never had a client who was that lucky) you can’t. You have to learn to compromise, stay true to yourself and establish boundaries. So what does that mean? Take time to understand at a very deep level what is really important to you (this is your value system). Then assess your life in terms of your values. Those things that support your values are keepers; those things that do not require some modification. Using the example above, perhaps you would decide that the next big promotion wasn’t worth the collateral damage the fight for it is causing. You could establish a boundary around the amount of time necessary to do your present job to a high standard without compromising the time you want to spend with your family. Communicate that plan to your family and your employer then hold yourself accountable to live up to it. Once you have aligned your intention with your values, the peace and joy you achieve will far outweigh anything you sacrificed in the compromise.

Once you truly know what you value, the strategies I mentioned earlier can be very useful in helping you remain accountable, maintain boundaries and fulfill the commitments you made you yourself and the people you care about.

Jim Alvilhiera

Transformational Business Coaching, Inc

www.transformationalbizcoach.com

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