New Eyes

When you learn a new skill, and as a result of your new skill, you begin to notice different sights and sounds in your world, it changes your life. The best part is, you can never go back to your old way of life. You’re changed.

As a coach and trusted advisor, one of my own personal joys is that I can spend from thirty minutes to an hour with a person and know that because of time I spent with them, they will change. I even tell people, "If you spend an hour with me, your life will never be the same." That's how confident I am of what I am doing. Actually, I take way too much credit for this process. You also are doing this with others all the time. Whenever you take the time to listen carefully to another person - for an hour or so - you are giving them new eyes to see their world. It is the opportunity that occurs during a powerful human connection that makes the difference and not the person. The new eyes happens for both of you.

What do you want to see differently? What has to happen for you to get more in life? Your first step is to see the world differently so you can respond to it differently.

Think for a moment about someone who has really irritated you in some way. How would your life be different if you forgave them and let go of your burden of carrying the incident in question around with you? Could you now use that energy to do something constructive and fun? Imagine for a moment that everyone who had ever done anything negative or mean to you was totally and completely forgiven for three minutes and twenty-six seconds. See! Just knowing you had a choice about forgiving these people gave you new eyes and a world full of love and opportunity because you stopped carrying all of those idiots around with you on your back. Allow yourself this freedom as the year drifts away to create a new and fresh 2004. Let them go! Set them free! You’re the one who will benefit from this forgiveness.

Here is a recent example of this in action:

In a recent phone conversation, I managed to irritate an incredibly incompetent woman at a company where we have done some business. I was very unhappy with what they had not done for us in relation to what they appeared to have promised us. I needed to maintain some level of civility with the company so when the owner of the company called to try to straighten out the “misunderstanding,” one of her first requirements was that I apologize to the incompetent. I said that I would certainly ask for forgiveness for anything that I may have done to hurt the woman’s feelings. Within a day I sent an email asking for forgiveness for anything that I may have done to hurt her feelings and I got to let go of the ugliness of the situation.

I did not apologize. Instead, I asked for forgiveness. An apology wasn't necessary nor required. What I did was to tell the boss that because I wanted to maintain a good relationship with the company, I would ask for forgiveness for any of my actions that had caused discomfort. What the boss heard me say was my offer to ask for forgiveness and to her, it sounded like an apology. What I got out of the transaction was a continued relationship in good standing with her company, she was happy and the incompetent underling still believes she got an apology from me, so she’s happy.

I was now outfitted with new eyes because I could see the advantage of maintaining the relationship and was willing to ask forgiveness from the incompetent. This allowed me to get my outcomes as well as ensuring that the other participants felt they had achieved their outcomes as well. It was very diplomatic and worked out to everyone’s advantage. It was a win/win.

Today, see if there is one thing you can do for someone else. For example, find someone to listen very carefully and find what they have to say. Or, spend a few minutes forgiving someone. Here is a powerful Forgiveness Process for you try when you have a few minutes of privacy:

http://mycoach.com/resource_tools_esteem_forgiveness.shtml . Either way you are a winner looking through your new eyes.

- Coach Colle

Executive Mentoring and Coaching, Inc.

www.mycoach.com

310.514.3268

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