Coach's Notes

by Coach Colle Davis

Executive Coaching, Inc.
Coaching & Mentoring Specialists

Failure, The Road To Success

During a conversation I had with a client this morning, I asked him what he would need to do to create the life he wanted. Without hesitation, he said he would have be willing to fail more often. I was delighted, his coaching was showing, and I immediately agreed with him. "The greater the risk, the greater the rewards," is an old expression that is as true today as it was when someone in ancient times used it, and today, your rewards are far beyond the best imaginations of the brightest people of only a century ago.

Here are two questions that will force you to look at your risk tolerance levels and decide if the rewards you would receive are worth the uncertainty. The best part of the equation is that you get to decide at what level you get to have failures in your life. Answer them only if you dare

• How much are you holding yourself back because you are afraid that you might fail at some part of achieving your goals?
  
• What would you do if you KNEW you could not fail?

Are you aware that all great successes are built on detours and roadblocks, but those who succeed have learned to continue to put themselves at risk to overcome their circumstances? Your first step for reaping great rewards is to decide if you want to be more successful at something in your life. Let’s assume the answer is ‘yes’ and that you have some notion of what that success looks like to you. (There were several Coach’s Notes in the past on this subject of ‘what success looks like.’) Now, let's probe deeper. What are you willing to risk in order to get to that next step? Are you willing to ask someone to help you? Are you willing to ask for the sale or the order? Are you willing to buck the current system and suggest a better, more efficient way for your group to work? Are you willing to ask your mate a tough question to possibly improve your relationship? The fact is, you may not be ready to do this RISK exercise, you may decide to simply continue your life exactly like it is right now.

What will happen to you if you do fail?

Would your failure be a sign that you are a bad person? No. It means you are willing to bet on your abilities and make the necessary mistakes to improve what you do for yourself and your company. Our social and business systems reward risk takers by paying them more money, lavishing praise, rewards and awards on them, and advancing them at the highest rate they can stand. You are among good company if you have failed. Nearly every leader in every field has had some major failure that they can point to and say that failing changed their life in a way that made them a better person, and added value to them as part of a company or group.

What has to happen for you to fail a little?

The odd thing is that it is not the failure that’s important. It is the willingness to take the risk that may result in failure that is critical to your happiness. Often risks are taken and the results turn out better than you had hoped for, and no failure occurred.

The next time your fear factor is low, step forward and take a slightly larger risk than you have before. Again, you will be pleasantly surprised to see that you will often succeed when you take that risk. Somewhere along the line you will fail, and you will learn from that experience to accept that failure is a part of the process and not a reflection on you as a person.

This risk/reward system is very much like learning to ride a bicycle. The more you practice, the better you get until you can take risks as easily as you ride a bicycle. At that point your life will be working so well you will wonder what took you so long to arrive at the ‘new’ way of accomplishing your goals.

Now, what risk are you going to take today? Start small, and work your way up. I'll be here cheering you onward to victory.

- Coach Colle

Quotes

BLAME
All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find
with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will
not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus
off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your
unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another
feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed
in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.

- Wayne Dyer

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